Hearts in the Wind
by JynxyChan
Summary: A series of one-shots for The Naruto people... mostly Akatsuki... and pretty much anyone...mostly my OCs... Submit for your own one-shot! Read, Review, LOVE!


_So, as promised, here's my series of one-shots!_

_Cheer, God damn you _

_Lol, JK!_

_So, my first pairing is gonna be….._

_KIMI/DEIDARA!_

_For those of you who read _A Bird Among Clouds_ and are confused by the pairing, please, allow me to explain._

_While, yes, I do rather like the Rubi-Deidara pairing, I have two reasons why I'm doing a Kimino one instead._

_First- This series is UNCONNECTED to _A Bird Among Clouds_, so I can do whatever pairing I damn well please._

_Second- While Rubi is sheer and utter awesomeness, she is not my character (FYI, she belongs to DucthyPuppY) Kimino is my character. I have a plethora of OCs in my head that many of you are unfamiliar with, and have my own little pairings for them._

_Deidara is Kimino's pairing._

_So, with that all cleared up, I can now happily get to the actual story stuff now!_

_Disclaimer- Yes, yes, we've been through this._

_FAR too many times._

_Dedication- To feathers._

_I don't know why either._

_Anywhoodle_

_This one-shot actually takes place in our-verse, with no narutoverse ness AT ALL_

_I'm gonna give it a T for teen, cause nothing actually happens, but the lovely mouths of the people in it have no place in a smaller rating ^.^_

_So, no spoilers, no lemons or limes, just Kimino-esque craziness_

_And maybe a little OOCness_

_I hope ya'll enjoy_

_BEGIN!_

1- The Most Laughs

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

"KIMINO YOU DUMBASS! **GET THE FUCK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"** My uncle Haruko screeched at me as he chased me out of the house in nothing but a towel. I raced for my car, laughing.

"YOUR HAIR LOOKS EPIC THOUGH, KO-KO-KUN! PINK IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BLACK!" I risked turning to grin at him, and oh, the look of RAGE on his face.

It made it so worth it.

Uncle Haruko's face turned a livid shade of purple, which complimented his now-pink hair rather nicely, I should say. It's such a shame he didn't agree with me.

He started sputtering out some death threat or another, and I took that as the opportunity to hop into my beautiful black corvette with neon purple lights underneath and locked the doors, smiling smugly at him.

"KIMINO! GET OUT OF THE CAR, OR I'M TAKING YOUR KEYS!" He shouted at me in outrage. Smirking, I reached into my purse and pulled out my camera.

It's so much fun to be me.

"Kimino… Put. That. DOWN." Haruko suddenly turned pale looking, and started backing away slowly.

I grinned to my widest.

And took the picture.

Haruko's eyes started bugging out of his head, and he looked ready to kill me. He raised his fists threateningly to attack my car.

Which meant he wasn't holding the towel anymore.

"AH HA HA HAAAAA HA HA!" I began laughing uncontrollably, even as I started the engine.

Haruko, finally defeated, turned about sixteen different shades of red before sputtering and running back inside the house.

Laughing at the ease of my victory, I backed out of the driveway and drove happily (Demonically fast, Holy Shit Everyone Is Gonna Die chaotically) towards Deida-Chan's house.

**Deidara's P.O.V.**

"Put more gas on it, yeah!" I shouted to my idiotic helper as she scrambled about wildly, trying to do all the jobs I told her to do. I couldn't do them myself; I was too busy taking the pictures.

"Y-Y-Yes, Deidara-San!" Terrified, the girl grabbed the gasoline and tried to splash some of it onto the fire from a distance. The idiot ended up losing her grip on the container, and flung it into the fire.

"What the Hell, Un!" The fire flared out, dangerously close to the cowering moron, and I ended up having to pull her out.

In the back of my head, I secretly wished it had just blown her up.

Life would have been so much better, one idiot shorter.

"Oh! Th-th-thank you, Deidara-san!" she cried as she flung her arms around me and began sobbing.

I wanted to puke, yeah.

"Get the hell off me, un!" I growled as I shoved her roughly away from me.

Looking hurt, her eyes watered up, and her bottom lip started trembling.

I rolled my eyes and looked at the fire I had been taking pictures of.

The idea had been that since the old statue that had been in the town square was being thrown out, I would set it on fire and take pictures of it as it slowly turned from white to black. Thanks to my idiot of an assistant, it was a charred ruin.

I really wished it HAD burned her up before I could get to her. It would have been so much better.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at the pathetic excuse for a woman. "Get up, yeah, and take care of that." I waved towards the burning remains of the statue. Shaking, she nodded and got up to go get the fire-extinguisher.

Just then, my phone started vibrating.

Without looking at the caller ID, I answered it. "What the fuck do you want, yeah? It better be good."

I was answered by a very feminine, very amused, very snotty voice that could only belong to one person. _"Dear, dear, Deida-Chan, such foul language! Tsk Tsk, and I thought better of you. Oh well, I suppose you'll have to be reduced to Hida-Chan's level now. For shame." _

Hiding my smirk, even though she couldn't see it, I answered her back as angrily as I could. "I am not, yeah! Don't compare me to that idiot! What do you want anyway, un?"

I could practically HEAR Kimino smirk into the receiver. _"Well, now, that's not a very nice way to ask. AND you didn't even give me a polite greeting! No 'Hey, Kimino, how are you doing today? Did you graciously bestow a bit of your perfection on anyone yet?', to which I would have replied 'Why, thank you for asking Deida-Chan! As a matter of fact, I'm having a very good day, AND have already made someone just a bit closer to being as perfect as me, out of the kindness of my majestic and noble heart.' BUT, since you have failed to do so, I may not tell you the details of my wonderful act of charity. OR show you the picture I took of it."_

I looked over at my assistant as she began spraying the fire. Then, satisfied she hadn't ruined anything else yet, I turned back away. "Kimino, yeah, where do you want to meet? You can tell me all about who you fucked over there."

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

It filled my heart with joy to see Deidara again. The gales of laughter he gave as I told him my story, and the way he rolled on his back as he burst into a wave of spastic chortling when he got a look at the picture, it showed how much more he appreciated my wonderfulness than Ko-Ko-Kun did.

Celebrating a victorious challenge is always more fun with someone who finds it as amusing as you do, and who worships you for your epicness.

Of course, EVERYONE worships me.

It's just that not all of them realize it yet.

The things denial can do to a person.

"Oh, God, Kimino, this is priceless, yeah!" Deidara said once he finally got out of his laughing fit.

I grinned and nodded at him ever so graciously. "Of course it is. You can't put a price on love."

Deidara rolled his eyes at me. "Your love could wipe out millions, yeah. I'm surprised they don't count you as a weapon of mass destruction. Nukes don't have a thing on you, un."

Hiding my amusement, I smacked his head rather hardly. "Ouch! What the Hell, un!"

I shook my finger in his face. "No, no, Deida-Chan, we do NOT compare the great and sexy Kimino-Sama to things not great or sexy. That's sin, you know."

Rubbing the back of his head, Deidara glared at me with his one visible eye. "You didn't have to fucking hit me, un! And what makes you think you're so sexy? I've seen prettier!"

Oh.

Oh my.

He did NOT just say that. Did he say that? Of course he didn't say that. NO ONE would say that.

Nope. No one.

Not even a delusional person.

So why did he just say that?

Does he WANT me to burn his neck off, throw out his head, and rape his body?

Of course not.

So he didn't say that.

"KIMINO, STOP FUCKING STRANGLING ME, YEAH! YOU'RE THINKING OUT LOUD AGAIN!"

Deidara had for some weird reason placed his neck in my hands, and for some reason I was squeezing and shaking him back and forth.

How very strange.

"KIMINO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT YEAH! YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST WOMAN I KNOW!"

Grinning, I released him from my death-grip. He turned pale and glared at me. I smiled and waved him off airily. "Of COURSE I'm the prettiest woman you know, Deida-Chan! Don't you know?"

I gave a dramatic pause and looked at him seriously. He was rubbing his neck absently and looking at me warily as I leaned in to whisper to him. When I was right next to his ear, a blush began creeping up his neck. I grinned.

"**I'm the prettiest woman EVER**!" I screamed into his ear.

I laughed as he jumped and fell back. He glared up at me. "I don't know why that surprised me, yeah. You've always been bitchy."

With that said, he got up and started to leave the room. He didn't even look at me.

This bothered me.

"Deidara, I was just joking around with you." I said annoyed as I got up and followed him to the other room in his apartment. He turned and glared at me again.

"You're always just joking around, yeah! Everything's fun and games to you! You're so selfish, and so stuck up, you don't even care who you're hurting for your own amusement!"

I paused and looked at him in confusion.

What the hell is he talking about?

I don't REALLY hurt people.

Do I?

"Deidara, I didn't know I hurt you. I'm sorry about your ear." I apologized to him with the most sincerity I had.

It didn't work well.

"My ear? My EAR? Kimino, you don't get it, do you?" he said as he gave me a pained look.

More confused than ever, I shook my head no.

He sighed. "Kimino, you do whatever you want to EVERYONE, whenever you feel like it, and you have no remorse for what you do. It's like you don't care about anyone who lo… anyone who you know, yeah."

He looked me in the eyes sadly. "You're just a bitch."

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

So. Kimino decides to piss off Haruko, escape madly from her crime, and leave ME to deal with it?

I don't fucking think so.

Haruko came in, naked, with pink hair, to my horror, and ran up the three flights of stairs to his suite.

I could hear the screams and giggles of more than a few female servants as he did so.

He ended up coming down later, fully dressed and completely pissed off, and looked at ME angrily.

Me. Really?

"When your sister gets home, you do whatever the fuck it takes to get her god damn keys, do you understand? She is getting punished!" And, saying that, he stormed off to some other room to take his anger out on some other unfortunate soul.

I rolled my eyes and continued reading my book.

So, needless to say, six hours later, while I was prepared to go out to eat and She Who Must Wreak Havoc drove into the driveway (at a surprisingly only somewhat speeding pace) I was less than pleased.

I didn't even break pace when I walked over to her as she got out. "Keys." I said demandingly.

To my astonishment, she wordlessly handed me her car keys, looking rather uncharacteristically depressed and thoughtful as she did so.

This was Unusual.

I stopped her from walking inside the house and made her turn around to me. "What happened? Who do I need to kill?" I asked, completely serious.

No one messes with my family.

The fires of hell will look like a playground for anyone who does,

She didn't look at me when she spoke. She was just kind of staring down at the ground. "Well, I… Chitana, do I _hurt_ people?"

Blinking in confusion, I gave her a double take. "… WHAT?"

She sighed and looked at me sadly. "Am I a bitch? Do I hurt people, Chitana?"

I looked at her, still confused. "Um… WHY do you ask? Is it cause you dyed Haruko's hair? Cause that can be fixed, you know, it's not like you HURT him."

She shook her head and stopped me from continuing. "No Chitana, I want to know. Do I _trample_ people?"

I looked at her sadly as understanding filled me. "No, Kimino, you don't. Did something happen with Deidara?"

**Deidara's P.O.V.**

I was glaring up at the ceiling when she called.

I should have expected it. If anything happens to anyone, SHE always swoops in to hand out the death threats.

At least she has a heart, though, yeah.

"What do you want, Chitana, un?" Expecting a series of screamed obscenities, I immediately moved the phone an inch away from my ear. It ended up being unnecessary.

"_My lord, Blondie. Did you honestly have to make her think she's a heart-stomping bitch? Really, it's not her fault you didn't tell her yet. Taking out your frustration on her is unnecessary."_

I froze a bit at what she said. "What do you mean, un? What would I have to tell her?"

Chitana didn't buy it, not for one second. She tends to have a very good bullshit-detector anyways. _"Let's not be dramatic, Deidara. It's quite obvious to anyone who's not as dumb as Kimino to notice. You do realize she really cares about you, correct? If you just told her, your idiotic frustration would go away, you know."_

I groaned in annoyance at her. It seems she and Sasori got on the same Lets-Pressure-Deidara! boat. Angrily, I said, "That's none of your business, yeah! If she liked me, she wouldn't have to wait for me to fucking tell her I do too, un!"

Chitana didn't even skip a beat as she replied. _"You moron, she doesn't realize she likes you too. She's not used to liking a guy without wanting to do a hit and run. I know my sister better than you do, dipshit, so I know what I'm saying when I tell you to fucking tell her already. It would be so much less dramatic, and would be less of a headache for me."_

I hated how such a selfish sounding sentence could be so correct. I started stumbling over words as I tried to think of something to say. Sometimes Chitana's bluntness is just impossible to respond to.

She didn't even LET me make a coherent response before just continuing on.

"_Honestly, now that you've made her go all emo, I just may tell her myself. And you know I will. You have one day, Deidara."_

With that said, the phone _Click_ed off. I numbly shoved it into my pocket as my thoughts became a whirlwind.

I was So Fucked.

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

So, with everyone reassuring me that, NO, OF COURSE I wasn't hurting anyone, HOW COULD I THINK THAT, I became convinced of one thing.

They were all full of bullshit.

I went to bed that night thinking of how Deidara had looked at me, so sad and so full of disgust. He was much more likely to be telling the truth.

The next morning, I snuck into Chitana's room, snatched my car keys, and silently left.

I was gonna apologize to Deidara. That would at least be a start.

**Deidara's P.O.V.**

The next morning, I kept looking at my phone and freaking out. How in the Hell was I supposed to ask Kimino to come over when I had called her a bitch the day before? How in the Hell was I supposed to tell her that I like her?

WHY in the Hell is Chitana such a bitch?

I was still pacing back and forth in my apartment when a familiar sounding car roared its way into the parking lot.

To my horror, outside was THAT car. And stepping out of it was THAT person.

I cursed Chitana out in my head.

She really IS a bitch.

Of course, Kimino walked up to my door. There, I peeped out the window and watched her, hoping that if she didn't realize I was home, she'd go away.

She raised her hand to knock on the door, and I cringed.

Curiously, however, she didn't knock immediately.

She held her hand in the position to, but there was an unusual look of hesitation in her eyes.

Kimino NEVER hesitates to do something.

EVER.

Except now, apparently.

Dejectedly, she slowly lowered her hand and looked at my door sadly. A small smile tugged at her lip, and I could just hear her talking to herself.

"God damn it. I never knew I was such a coward. I can't even knock on his door to apologize." She laughed sadly and lowered herself to sit on my doorstep.

Extremely confused and curious, I watched her from the window.

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

It was just perfect.

Here I was, the Confident, Unbreakable, Unphased Kimino, sitting down entirely broken down and ready to just sob there on my best friend's doorstep.

When in the hell did this happen?

"Since when do I get all sad and emotional? This isn't me." I mumbled to myself.

I glared up at Deidara's door. "This is all _your_ fault." I blamed it.

I mean, I'm KIMINO. I do NOT get all depressed and remorseful.

Not even for boys.

ESPECIALLY not for boys.

Boys are toys, and my motto is Let's Play.

So why in the hell am I crying here?

Holy shit, I'm CRYING?

"Fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with me?"

Indeed, tears were flowing down rather fatly down my gorgeous face.

Hey, just cause I'm depressed doesn't mean I can't be conceited!

My ego didn't take THAT much of a blow.

And yet it's so sad how downright TWISTED I can be, even while I'm serious and depressed, for once.

"God damn you, Deidara." I muttered as I wiped the tears away.

Glowering, I stood up and faced the door.

He would NOT turn me into a useless mess.

Nope. Nope he would not.

I strode forward, raised my fist high, and prepared to knock on the door and demand entrance into his house so I could apologize to him.

But, just as I was about to do so, when my hand was about to make contact, I _crumpled._

I dropped to my knees, bent over, and _shamelessly_ began sobbing in earnest.

It wasn't fair.

I shouldn't have been crying.

I shouldn't have been THERE in the first place.

I DO NOT care what people think of me.

I DO NOT care what my amusement does to others.

I DID NOT do anything that serious to him in the first place.

This was ridiculous.

What made me, ME, feel anything but amusement at the suffering of someone? It wasn't true suffering, and he was being overly dramatic.

So why would that bother ME?

"Oh… Oh my God." I whispered.

It was too cliché.

Really, I couldn't… wouldn't… and yet…

"I… love you." I whispered, just as the door to his apartment was thrown open. He stared down at me, wide-eyed, and I at him.

We were both in shock, it seemed.

He knelled down in front of me.

One of his hands reached out to me.

I turned and ran back to my car.

**Deidara's P.O.V.**

I watched her go silently. Normally, I'm not silent. Not at all.

Normally, Kimino doesn't cry and say she loves someone.

Especially not me.

What the hell just happened?

Since when are EITHER of us this sad? Or serious?

What the hell, un?

Reality crashed down on me just then. _KIMINO SAID SHE LOVES ME, AND I JUST LET HER SPEED AWAY._

I kind of jerked up and ran to get my keys.

I wouldn't just LET her run away.

Like Chitana said, the drama was pointless.

Now to show that to Kimino, the most dramatic person I know.

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

I love driving.

More than that, I love speeding.

Especially right now, when it gives me some distance from Deidara.

I ran through a red light and through a couple of cars as I thought frantically.

He almost CERTAINLY heard me say that I love him, and I could NOT just stay there for him to reply to my outburst.

Why am I having such a shitty day?

I was prepared to drive ANYWHERE, and not stop driving till my car ran out of gas, but then a familiar yellow car showed up behind me, and my cell phone went off in my pocket.

The Blue Tooth automatically answered for me.

"_Kimino. Slow down, un."_

I looked up at him through my rearview mirror. I could see him steering with one hand, while the other held the phone to his ear.

I looked back at the road and didn't say anything, just drove faster.

He cursed under his breath, and his next sentence sounded just a pinch more frantic.

"_Kimino. Please just stop for a second, yeah! I want to talk to you."_

"Well then talk." I said in a Chitana-esque voice. I didn't exactly slow down, but I didn't speed up either.

The annoyance came through on the phone. _"Kimino, I want to say this in person, but I don't think you'll let me, un. So I'll say it now. I love you too, yeah."_

I swerved off the road and almost crashed into a tree. I had to hit the brakes hard to avoid doing so.

Deidara's car screeched to a stop, and both of us stepped out of our vehicles.

I stormed over to where he was. "WHAT in the HELL did you just say?" I asked him rather accusingly.

He looked at me sheepishly and grinned. "I said I love you too, yeah."

I marched over to him and jabbed his chest with my forefinger.

"What the bloody hell took you so long to say so, then? You could have saved me a lot of trouble!"

He smiled at me, with a spark in his pretty blue eyes. "I was embarrassed, un, and didn't think you'd like me too."

I growled and punched him. He didn't expect that, and "Oof"d as he fell back.

I leaned down over him. "You are a dumbass. I'm being me, and therefore epic and loving, would OF COURSE like you too. Only the inferior would be embarrassed! I'm so ashamed of you, Deida-Chan. I would have expected better from you. Tsk, tsk. How utterly DISAPPOINTING."

Deidara smirked up at me, and I couldn't help but smile down at him.

I could already feel my Kimino-esque confidence, Happy Rainbow Sunshine ness returning to me.

Without saying anything else, he pulled me down on top of him and kissed me. It was so sweet, so loving, and so on fire, I just melted and kissed him back.

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

I was not at all surprised to wake up and find that Kimino and her car had disappeared.

I was also NOT surprised to find Haruko glaring at ME when I went downstairs that morning.

When he asked me What in the Hell happened to Kimino, I looked at him and coolly told him to go fix his hair or something.

He sputtered and ran upstairs to the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes at how easy it was to beat him and proceeded to continue my book from the day before.

When Kimino came home that night looking rather pleased with herself, I didn't even have to ask.

I love it when a good threat works out.

"Hello, Chitana-Nana-Nee!" she shouted In My Ear as she glomped me.

The dumbass made me lose my page.

I was so pissed I could drown a litter of kittens.

… Okay, so I would never do THAT… but still. I was pissed.

"Get off me, dipshit! Your stupidity might be contagious!" I shouted angrily as I punched her.

She just laughed as she rolled off.

I glowered at her.

"… So, he told you."

"Yup!" She smiled at me.

I nodded and threw my book at her head.

It was a direct hit.

"OUCH, CHITANA! THAT WAS SO MEAN OF YOOOUUU!" she screamed at me.

I grinned when, upstairs, I heard running and a door open and shut.

"KIMINO! **IS THAT YOU? YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"** Uncle Haruko (Who really IS a good man and guardian, he just has a short temper, which Kimino takes advantage of) screamed down the stairwell.

Kimino glared at me sourly as he began scrambling down the steps.

"Well played, sister mine."

"Thank you, I try." I replied grinning up at her.

She smirked down at me.

"So… Call me when he goes back to his house?"

"Oh, Definitely. You should probably get going soon though. He doesn't have a towel to hinder him this time."

She grinned evilly as Haruko came into the room. "Well, Bye then! Hugs and kisses!"

And with that, she was out the door, Uncle Haruko screaming after her.

Smirking, I picked up my book.

I may be surrounded b inferior idiots, but they make my life interesting.

Sometimes, being more intelligent than everyone means you get the most laughs.

_And that, good people, is a wrap!_

_Oh, the wonderful craziness that is Kimino._

_I love her so much ^.^_

_I'm only grateful I don't actually KNOW anyone like her._

_Cause that would be the living definition of HELL, lol_

_I don't think anyone could resemble her anyways. Her uniqueness is just unparalleled. _

_So, that was my first one-shot for the series!_

_What did ya'll think?_

_REVIEW, please, cause Kimino expects you to!_


End file.
